The Games I Finished This Past Week pt1

Ok so my video game playing habits aren’t exactly timely.

I usually buy a game when I see it on sale, play the first few hours, and then let it sit on a shlef for a few year before picking it up again.

So as I’m currently single, and not really in the mood to pursue anything beside laziness, I’ve decided to make up for some lost time and actually beat some of the games that I started back in the day.


So back in the day there was an Xbox 360 launch title “Condemned: Criminal Origins”. It was a first person shooter where you play as a detective in a spooky, dark city and you go around in dark, spooky places looking for clues and stuff relating to some horrible murders. There’s a conspiracy plot of some sort, and all sorts of creepy homeless thugs try to kill you.

Now calling the game a shooter is kinda a misnomer, as you spend most of the game hitting bad dudes, who are probably angry crackheads or something, with various blunt or sharp objects that you pull from the environment. Some things are better than others, axes hurt more than pipes for example, but mostly you just beat crackheads and sometimes ghostly crackheads to death with whatever is lying around. The game was scary as shit, cause everything is dark and spooky, and Monolith, the guys who made the game are seasoned pros at the scary game business.

I enjoyed the game a whole ton, cause it pretty much plays like this:

Walking through dark, spooky, burnt out building/subway/school/library. Lots of freaky shadows. Hey I found some evidence for that crime type thing we’re investigating! Hey now I’m walking through this even spookier section of this burnt out, dark building. OOOHHH SHIT THIS FUCKIN CRACKHEAD GUY JUST JUMPED OUT AT ME. HE’S ALL FREAKY AND SHIT!!!


Proceed to taser and then beat crackhead(s) till they stop attacking you.


Now I know my description doesn’t really do the game justice, but It’s the scariest game on the Xbox 360.

But unfortunately I wasn’t finishing up the first game I was finishing up the sequel. For some reason your detective character from the first game has turned into a dark, sinister, alcoholic version of himself; who looks almost as menacing as your average video game bad guy. You look freaky as fuck, and kinda snarl at just about everything. Your partner lady named Rosa from the first game also returns, but now she’s changed ethnicity.

The game starts out alright, with you goin’ through spooky places beatin’ spooky crackhead guys to death, but now there’s a full fledged fighting system with all sorts of annoyed moves and button pressing. You no longer are just beatin’ crackheads to death in self defense, you’re performing combos and finishing moves! It feels unnecessarily complex at times, and at other times can be kinda annoying.

Then the plot kicks in, and the conspiracy gets much wackier, with you traveling through a doll factory full of creepy toys, a mountain lodge, a magic theatre, and all sorts of gross burnt out places. There’s all sorts of blood and grue, and all manner of unspeakable nastiness. The game as a whole seems to have just gotten dirtier for the sake of being gross. That’s not a huge qualm for me, but it is noticable.

The thing is the last portion of the game just gets silly, with mercenaries trying to kill you, the evil conspiracy gets dumber, and you get the magic power to explode people’s heads by yelling at them. The whole thing just gets more and more ludicrous, I honestly had to use Wikipedia to figure out was supposed to be going on.

For the most part, the biggest flaws are in the second half of the game, the game ends up relying too much on guns, and that kills the atmosphere. You get a magic head exploding power, which is just dumb, and the plot turns retarded.

The graphics are much improved, and the game is still quite scary at many parts, just overall I didn’t enjoy it nearly as much as the first, it just felt like the developers were trying to hard to be gritty and dark and disturbing and cool this time around and they lost track of what made the first game so enjoyable.

The bottom line is that you can pick up the first game for about 8 bucks used and the sequel for about 10 bucks. So for less than 20 dollars you can get one great survival horror shooter/crackhead beating simulation, and its sequel full of wacky plot developments. I recommend the first game as one of my favorites on the Xbox 360, and I figure if you like the first one you could do a lot worse for 10 bucks.